If your MY, then your not IMMORTAL
by Twisty Emerald
Summary: A parody to the infamous "My Immortal" using Gintama's characters. Let's see how it will work, shall we? "Character death"


Hi, Guys! Long time no see!

So, I found this sleeping in my folder, not-posted and I decided to post it after all. Why do all my author-notes start with so? …. Anyway, this is a parody to the amazing and creative and not cliché at all piece of fanfiction named "My Immortal" of course, using the characters of Gintama.

P.S. : If you haven't read "My Immortal" or at least heard of it, then go and it or about it! Or after reading this, you'll think I'm stupid and I don't know what grammar is or where it can be found... or that I'm putting my life in danger constanly. Seriosly.

It's just a joke and it means no harm.

The "typo" in the title is totally intended, just so ya' know

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 **Gintama belongs to the cool Sorachi-sensei, duh.**

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 **If your MY, then your not IMMORTAL**

Hi, my name is Vermilion Fighting Berserk Red Path and I have short vermilion orange hair (that's how I got my name. Because I was born with hair like any other kid. Because kids born with hair.) with no streaks and no red strips because I already have natural red hair, duh, that reaches my shoulders and ocean blue eyes like... like a sunny sky and a lot of people tell me I look like myself (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to no one other than my baka-aniki and Papi but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie (anyone other than my brother and father, of course! What were you thinking, huh?) . I'm not a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a girl, and I go to a normal school called... I don't know how it's called, in Japan where I'm in the third year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black... actually I wear red or I would but there's something called uniform here. I love the grocery store and I buy all my snacks from there. For example today I was eating a black brownie with matching cream around it and a black tea, pink doughnuts and black icing (if you don't know what that is, get da hell out of here!). I'm not wearing black lipstick, or any foundation or eyeliner because I have natural long eyelashes and no eye shadow because when I do make up, I look like an old hag. I was walking outside the high-school. It was snowing and raining (magical rain that doesn't freeze when it's snowing, so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. Then the bell rang.

It was...

Time for class!

End of chapter 1.

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Chapter 2

We had a surprise math test, which means the whole class is gonna fail.

"You knew at the test, Verm?" asked Okita Sougo, the biggest hottie in school... wait what? No! Sadaharu is the best hottie!

Anyway, this infect guy had a certain pleasure in making people depressed, so we (he) call him(self) Satan.

"No." I covered my face to mask my tears, but my shoulders we're shaking. I felt depressed. I want to kick someo- no, I wanna cut my veins.

"Neither I." he said softy, with a sad dead-panned voice. "Let's cut our veins."

"Ok."

He took out a rusty razor and I also took out a razor and we started to split...

...Gori's wrists.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Shinpachi cried. He was also a goth like Satanist. He loved eyeliner. His lentils we're all covered in eyeliner.

"No, they are not."

I took a marker and started to color him, but his glasses support was staying in my way.

"Take off your glasses support."

"What?! I'm not a pair of glasses!" He got took off by his support who started to try clean him. "And what are you doing?!"

"Splitting our wrists." Satanist said with a sad, dead-panned voice.

"THOSE ARE NOT YOUR WRISTS!"

"Don't worry, Shinpachi-kun." Said Gorilla with his last breath. "I like it."

"I lost all faith in humanity." Shinpachi said with a blank look.

"Why?! I can finally say I'm a goth!" Gorilla said with a glad, sad, excited voice."

"Weren't you dying?" I asked questioningly. "Go back to the grave, Gorilla, we need major character death for the tag!"

"B-but!"

"And you can't be a goth, you don't have any eyeliner!" I shouted with a depressed voice. It was depressing. I decided to split _my_ wrists further.

"THOSE ARE NOT YOUR WRISTS!"

"I have eyeliner!" Gorilla said.

"Where?!" I took out a book covered in – red paint – blood. "You shouldn't... You're not following the script!"

He ignored me. "Here!" He said and flashed his ass.

His butt-hole had eyeliner all over it.

"Oh, I see..." The Silver Tear said with a sad voice, which matched his dead-fish eyelinered eyes. "So this is the third eye... I could have never tell..."

"No, Danna." Satanist said. He was bisexual and married to Silver Tear. "This is the bottom face."

My face enlightened with depression. "This makes the front part the nose, right."

Satanist looked at the Gorilla thoughtfully. "He does have a long nose... and lots of nasal hair.

"He has some muscular cheeks here too. I wonder where is the mouth..."

"Only girls have lips, Gi- Silver-chan!"

"Oh, I see."

"Stick to the script, Verm."

"I'm trying... it's not my fault. It's a habit. Like Gorilla's urge to show his genitalia to Anego!"

"That explains a lot." Silver nodded.

"STOP IT!"

"Shin-chan, stop crying." Said Anego, who just walked in. She missed the first class because she was splitting her-

"Sadist, this doesn't sound like Anego." Kagura said as Kondou jumped at Otae. "She's not the type to cut her veins." She pointed at the paragraph.

"Ha? Really? Then change it with Megan's wrists." Sougo dead-panned.

Kagura nodded, then corrected the script.

"What's next?" He asked.

"Blah...blah... important scene... blah blah... depressed... blah blah blah... you die... blah... you get revived because you we're actually kidnapped... blah blah someone dies." She flipped the pages to the middle. "Oh, you run after me naked."

Otae started to beat the crap out of Kondou. Sougo headed to the door for lunch.

"I'm not running after you naked."

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In an empty room with no background, Hijikata was reading the script.

"What's this...?"

"The play for the festival!" Yamazaki informed him cheerfully. He got knocked off by the book.

"THE HELL IT ISSS!"

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Hope you enjoyed my little story! Have a nice day and see you next time!


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